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By Jennifer Bailey, LCSW & RDT
Between shopping for the perfect gift, baking for the cookie exchange and finding an ugly sweater for your workplace’s holiday party, December can bring more than holiday cheer.
The American Psychological Association (APA) reported that 89% of American adults experience at least one source of stress during the holiday season. For many, this time of year is full of pressure, to say yes to everything, to make everything perfect, and to keep everyone happy.
While the holidays can be overwhelming, they can also be a time for reflection and rest when we approach them intentionally. Slowing down and finding ways to stay grounded can help us experience the season with more peace and presence.
The Reality Behind Holiday Stress
The American Institute of Stress found that 70% of Americans report stress during the holiday season. In a 2023 APA survey, 41% said their stress increases this time of year, and 49% described their stress as moderate between November and January. The APA reported that 43% said stress affects their ability to feel joy.
These statistics remind us that feeling stretched thin or emotionally drained this time of year isn’t a personal failure, it is a common experience. Understanding where that stress comes from can help us address it before it takes over.
Where the Stress Comes From Financial Pressure
The holidays are framed as a season of giving, but they often become a season of overspending. A recent Gallop News poll found that about a third of Americans expect to spend up to $499, 18% between $500–$999, and 37% expect to spend $1,000 or more.
That pressure to give generously, especially in a time of economic uncertainty, can leave people anxious and financially strained.
Striving for the Perfect Holiday
Whether it’s getting the perfect gift, throwing the perfect holiday party, or hosting the perfect holiday dinner, there is a deep need to make the holiday season magical. Unfortunately, the hope of a memorable holiday is usually fueled by perfection. The striving for perfection could also lead to unhealthy comparisons. The APA reported that 36% of Americans feel like the holidays are a competition.
Coping With Grief
Trying to navigate a time of year when traditions and rituals are at their peak can be difficult when loved ones are not available to engage in them. Nearly 40% of Americans labeled their stressor for the holiday as missing family or loved ones, according to the APA. Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays, it simply finds new ways to show up.
Too Much to Do, Too Little Time
Many people look forward to time off from work in December, but that doesn’t always mean less to do. Unfortunately, it can often feel like there is more to do. There are office parties, school performances, shopping trips, family photos, and endless to-do lists. Lyra Health noted that these competing demands can leave people feeling overwhelmed and stressed about not having enough time, making it hard to truly enjoy the moments meant for rest.
Anticipate Family Conflict
For some, time with family can be more stressful than joyful. Differing opinions, unresolved issues, or personality clashes can turn gatherings into emotional minefields. According to the APA, 22% of Americans say family conflict contributes to their holiday overwhelm. When family time comes with tension, even the most festive settings can feel draining.
Alcohol and Substance Use
The challenge of the holidays can show up through increased drinking or substance use. Whether due to social gatherings or attempts to cope with stress, this time of year often sees an uptick in use. Insurance Canopy found that 55% of Americans admitted to drinking more during the holiday season, which can be particularly challenging for those in recovery or those trying to maintain boundaries around substances.
Shift From Stressed to Grounded
Although the holidays can bring stress, there are things that can be implemented this holiday season to help people stay grounded and experience joy.
Set Expectations Ahead of Time
Before the holiday rush begins, take time to define your limits. Set a realistic budget for gifts, decide how many social events you can comfortably attend, and communicate boundaries early. The LAM Clinic suggests saying “no” when necessary and putting time limits on events to protect your energy.
Make Time for Self-Care
This is often called the “season of giving,” but that generosity should include yourself. Protecting sleep, hydration, movement, and quiet time are not luxuries; they’re essentials for emotional balance. Clinical psychologist Dr. Diana Hill emphasizes body awareness and distress tolerance skills to regulate the nervous system. Techniques like running your wrists under cold water, stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, or taking a mindful pause in a quiet room can help you reset when you feel overstimulated.
If family conflict is a concern, choosing reactions ahead of time can be helpful. If you know that one relative will be eager to talk about their political views, choose how you will handle the situation before being in the situation. Know what could trigger you and use self-soothing tools to help manage stressful interactions.
Self-compassion means permitting yourself to slow down, to feel mixed emotions, and to release the expectation that joy must look a certain way. Mindfulness practices like gratitude journaling, mindful breathing, or simply noticing the small, quiet moments of connection can help bring the season back into focus.
Coping With the Holidays Guide
The Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Mental Health Services (ADAMHS) Board of Cuyahoga County has released a “Coping with the Holidays” guide with self-care tips and strategies to support mental health during the holiday season.
Need help now? Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for immediate, 24/7 mental health support.
Jennifer Bailey is a wife, mother of three, and therapist. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Registered Drama Therapist (RDT).
